Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Hall of Medical Quotes

1. Professor: Gene therapy might cause cancer, but its still really cool

2.Medical student : So you're saying that lack of sleep, binge drinking, and high stress are bad for you? Wait, isn't that my life??

3. Doctor to patient: You're 5', 350lbs, your blood sugar is uncontrolled, you refuse to take your meds, and now your upset with me because your joints hurt? Lets be a little more realistic.

4. Dr. House (from FOX's awesome show): Patients lie.

5. Relative A: So I have x, y, and z giving me trouble. What do I have?Relative B: I'm a first year medical student, they're still teaching me how to have social skills.

6. Lecturing Physician Assistant to First year medical students: You need to remember that during those years you went to medical school (4) and through residency (3-7) we were out actually working. So we will know more than you do at the end of your residency.

7. Backrow Medical Student to Lecturing Physician Assistant: Bullshit

8. Uh, what'd you do with the gloves?

9. We estimate that each of you will graduate with 130,000 dollars in debt at best.

10. Genital-Rectal Instructor: Starting in the middle of the penial shaft, gently bring the skin to the base. Then apply a firm, but gentle, pressure to compress the urethral meatus and milk the penis.

11. Me: What the hell have I got myself into!

12. OB/GYN attending: "and is this the babydaddy (one word)?"

13: Surgeon to patient with heart problem: " And if you keep on using cocaine you will die. Oh, and you can be discharged today."

14: Surgical patient three hours later to med3: "Am I being discharged to God?"

15: Doctor to patient: " You have a hole in your aorta from your motor vehical accident. Luckily, its a contained rupture. This is still very serious". Patient to doctor: " So other than this little hole I came out pretty ok. So can you take these wires off and I go home now?"


Wessel said...

Keep them up they keep me afloat

Wessel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wessel said...

Keep them up they keep me afloat